Sometimes we push ourselves by giving too much and helping others, because we feel that it makes us better, that we can fix some of our faults, and that perhaps others will respect us more. Meanwhile, we fall into the vice of giving without setting limits for ourselves and for others. And that can be very harmful for both parties, but especially for you if you meet the wrong people.
8 signs you're giving too much to others
There are really many people willing to receive. But you, don't you feel like maybe you're giving too much?
The following are 8 signs that you are the one who is giving too much.
When your help maintains dependency and irresponsibility
Pay Attention to Who You Are Helping It happens that we have to face the fact that our good intentions may go the wrong way. Sometimes continually helping someone is not good for them and for yourself.
Healthy support leads to greater independence, to developing positive potential in other people. If someone clings to you in the hope that they will always get a hand from you, unfortunately you will have to stop. Better to direct the desire to help those who really use it so that they can go their own way.
When someone does not take advantage of your help
It is very difficult. Because you feel that someone really needs your help and you give them another chance, but this person does not take advantage of it and does nothing with it. And that shows that he only uses you when he feels comfortable, without a real quest to change.
He uses what you constantly give him, but he cannot translate this help into his own success, to get out of his hole. On the contrary, it draws a handful of responsibilities out of you to escape, but when you break another promise and the next, it's really a waste of time and energy.
That is why you should not really help that person, since they only benefit from meeting someone like you, who from time to time extends a hand and gives too much.
When what you give blocks its development
Sometimes people are afraid to go further, to take responsibility for themselves, for what they do. Very often, they have to depend on someone who gives and helps unconditionally, and who does certain things for them. This can be applied to colleagues, own children, partner and friends.
They know that you will do what they ask you to do, but you have to be aware of what your help leads to. Because if you wear yourself out and push yourself… and they stay put, it means that your help is really stalling them. And therefore they don't develop, they don't develop their skills, they don't prepare for something new.
When you have the impression that someone is manipulating you
You feel that something is wrong, that you give help, but you do it because the other person pushes you to do it. Emotional blackmail is often common, but it is not immediately detected.
"I think I will hang myself", "I will commit suicide", "I am useless": these are constant messages that provoke the need for help in us and, meanwhile, it is mere manipulation. Pay attention to whether you are not manipulated in this way.
When helping tires you out
You are allowed to admit: "I'm sick of helping, I feel mentally and physically exhausted." Because helping and giving must be in harmony with self-respect. Giving too much and unhealthy help is something that drains you, that violates your sense of security, even when someone asks you for money.
Stay away from negative forms of help, learn to reject, to refuse to "save" someone. Healthy helping is offering support within your own resources and abilities.
When helping destroys a relationship
Help must build relationships and strengthen them. But when the opposite happens, when your relationship with another person worsens because you feel used and abused, this is not a good help. Better get away from there.
When there is only support in one direction, there is an imbalance, a sense of hurt, conflict and resentment.
When helping overwhelms you
You really want to help someone, you see him weak and vulnerable, but you feel that that person does not want to accept this help, because he does not want to take medicine, for example, he does not want to go to therapy, he does not want to receive professional help, and you see that it is necessary now that your good word is not enough.
However, remember that everyone is responsible for their own lives, for their choices. You cannot force anyone to accept help, that person must want to help themselves.
When your help becomes a long-term service
Sometimes this happens when we decide to give an exclusive form of help or a favor, for example, taking care of your neighbor's child, helping your aunt with shopping, taking your friend to work.
And you take it for granted that it was only a one-time favor, but suddenly you see yourself receiving your neighbor's son every other day, doing your aunt's groceries once a week, and out of nowhere your friend calls you to let you know that It has been waiting 3 minutes for you to pass through it.
Hey, you didn't make a date, say it out loud before you start to feel used.
Helping and giving is a great value, but we cannot be used and be giving too much. Let's help to have health, ours and that of others.
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